Thursday, October 27, 2005
Robert's Story in The NW Film and Video Festival
Happy to report that the doc, "Robert's Story: Dying With Dignity" will be a part of this year's NW Film and Video Festival. It will screen on Thursday, November 10 at 7pm at The Guild Theater, 829 SW Park Ave. in Portland. Tickets are $7. For more information go to www.nwfilm.org
Yesterday, I showed it to a group of law students and lawyers at Willamette University in Salem. I wasn't really prepared for the reaction the doc got when we had a private screening for those in the doc and friends last month. They were speechless and mostly in tears. I knew it was powerful, but I didn't really expect it to move people as much as it did. I saw the same reaction yesterday. I'm better prepared for it now.
We will have some Q&A after the NWFVF in November. If you come, bring some kleenex.
Yesterday, I showed it to a group of law students and lawyers at Willamette University in Salem. I wasn't really prepared for the reaction the doc got when we had a private screening for those in the doc and friends last month. They were speechless and mostly in tears. I knew it was powerful, but I didn't really expect it to move people as much as it did. I saw the same reaction yesterday. I'm better prepared for it now.
We will have some Q&A after the NWFVF in November. If you come, bring some kleenex.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Robbie and other bad memories
If the book doesn't totally stiff, there may be another book in my future. I started working on it last week. I won't give away any details, but one of the stories I'm basing it around is on the rabid nun website www.rabidnun.com. It has to do with a lot of awful jobs I've held over the years. The newspaper story that the Rabid Nun book was based on was one of those.
As I was writing about the teenage traumas that caused me to behave badly later, I was discussing the "Spit Pit" at my junior high, and how the real guys from Barry Levinson's movie "The Diner" used to push us younger boys down the concrete steps that led to a locked door to the basement of the school, off the playground. As soon as we got far enough down the steps, they would spit on us, hence the name.
One guy who hung with them in high school later became a friend of mine. I called him Robbie when I wrote my only published short story. I passed it off as fiction, but in fact, it is real. It's a twist on my tabloid stories which were fiction but I passed off as fact. Every word in her letter is true.
What's wrong with me? Here's the piece:
ROBBIE
Robbie dreamed of nuns with fangs again. He didn’t know why. He had fallen asleep with the vcr on. This time it was the Jessica tape. “Jessica wakes up & dresses for work in sexy sheer dark brown stockings & garterbelt, She pees for you,” it said on the tape box.
The nuns were devouring bats before an altar.
Next to the bed was a letter Robbie had received today. It was in a pink envelope. It was from a girl named Laura in Phoenix, Arizona. She had enclosed a picture of herself, clothes on, in a sexy pose.
“I don’t know why I wrote back,” Robbie told a friend. He really didn’t know. He liked the personals. He was looking for whores who advertised. His ad read:
FEMALE WANTED!
to be
“ROBBIE’S GIRL”
WHO IS ROBBIE?
· LAWYER
· WRITER
· TV PRODUCER
· AND WEALTHY!!
“ROBBIE” WANTS A NICE GIRL
35 OR UNDER
NO TALLER THAN 5’5”
SLIM
AVERAGE LOOKING OR BETTER
DON’T DELAY!!
Her reply letter was pathetic. Eleven small typewritten pages, and on the first page was a picture of a kitten which she had outlined in black.
“My goodness, there’s so much that I’d like to tell you. As I sit here I feel like telling you the story of my life—and I will if you give me the chance. When I was sixteen I lost my hearing but I can talk and read lips so I manage to get by. Still, I am deaf. Do you think this will make a difference?
“Right now my life is all jumbled up, to tell you the honest truth. When I finish my school this summer I will be moving back to Bethesda. Both of my parents were killed in a car accident when I was fourteen, so I don’t have any real family anymore.
“But the thing that’s all jumbled up is I’ve just learned that I have to pay $173 more on my tuition and this is making a mess of everything. If I can’t pay, I don’t get my diploma and if I don’t get that then I can’t my cosmetology license which means I can’t work.
“Isn’t this a mess? Do things like this ever happen to you, Robbie? Sometimes I think they only happen to me really.
“Now I’m going to do something which might displease you but please don’t feel that way, ok? I just want to know if you would like to help me out with $15 or so. Now you don’t have to, you know.
“And Robbie, I know this is not a very good way to start out a relationship (it’s a horrible way, isn’t it?) but it’s just that my life is like this now—flat broke but not down and out!!
“I’m not really too good at writing letters so I’m not quite sure what to say now. But if you could ask me questions (about anything really) then it would be fun getting to know each other that way.”
Robbie didn’t want this. Robbie wanted a girl he could tie up. He kept reading.
“I don’t know if I’m the woman you are looking for, but I would like to be considered. And if you should find me not suitable, I’ll understand. I feel if someone should truly try to touch my heart and my soul and my body, then I will be drawn to touch them in the same loving way.”
Robbie couldn’t stand it. He wanted to spit. He couldn’t stand the dream, either. The nuns were about to eat him alive. Her letter continued.
“Let me also tell you that I feel very bad about asking for a helping hand. I’m really not that kind of person. I would appreciate any thought you might have of me. Please understand.”
Robbie couldn’t deal with this. He just wanted his thirty dollar whores. He just wanted to be able to beat them and make them tell him they were vermin, and then put them in a cab. But he continued reading.
“Do you think it’s still possible for us to become friends? I would like that very much. I would really be grateful for a few kinds words from someone special who would want the same…so Robbie, I hope you will write to me. I will try very hard to overcome the differences we might have between us.”
The girl’s letter was in response to Robbie’s reply to her ad in the personals. She had liked it. This was unusual for him. Even his girlfriend of eight years use to find money in her underwear when she left his apartment on Sunday afternoons. Robbie was not in the business of pleasing anyone but Robbie. Robbie was strictly retail.
Handwritten in purple was “Love, Laura. P.S. I have black hair, green eyes, weigh 115 lbs and stand 5’3” in m stockings. Also, I’m staying at this place for the deaf (it’s kind of a dump, really) so please write to me Robbie. I’m waiting.”
She wrote her address at the bottom and added, “I also want to love.”
The next morning Robbie called his friend and gave the letter to him. After he got off from work, Robbie went to the bar, came home with a thirty dollar whore, tied her up, beat her, paid her, sent her home and went to sleep.
Laura cried herself to sleep at the home for the deaf.
Robbie’s friend stayed up all night reading and re-reading the letter. He couldn’t bear the weight on his heart. He couldn’t even show it to his wife, and as he listened to an elegy on the radio, he hoped that Robbie’s dream of being devoured by nuns would come true. He knew that Laura’s dreams of Robbie would not.
He called Robbie the next day and told him to send the girl the fifteen. Robbie said no. His friend said, “Then I’m going to steal it from you the next time you get dead drunk.” His friend went home and wrote Laura a letter.
Robbie would never get his hands on her.
Robbie didn’t want her anyway.
Robbie was having a dream about nuns with fangs again.
As I was writing about the teenage traumas that caused me to behave badly later, I was discussing the "Spit Pit" at my junior high, and how the real guys from Barry Levinson's movie "The Diner" used to push us younger boys down the concrete steps that led to a locked door to the basement of the school, off the playground. As soon as we got far enough down the steps, they would spit on us, hence the name.
One guy who hung with them in high school later became a friend of mine. I called him Robbie when I wrote my only published short story. I passed it off as fiction, but in fact, it is real. It's a twist on my tabloid stories which were fiction but I passed off as fact. Every word in her letter is true.
What's wrong with me? Here's the piece:
ROBBIE
Robbie dreamed of nuns with fangs again. He didn’t know why. He had fallen asleep with the vcr on. This time it was the Jessica tape. “Jessica wakes up & dresses for work in sexy sheer dark brown stockings & garterbelt, She pees for you,” it said on the tape box.
The nuns were devouring bats before an altar.
Next to the bed was a letter Robbie had received today. It was in a pink envelope. It was from a girl named Laura in Phoenix, Arizona. She had enclosed a picture of herself, clothes on, in a sexy pose.
“I don’t know why I wrote back,” Robbie told a friend. He really didn’t know. He liked the personals. He was looking for whores who advertised. His ad read:
FEMALE WANTED!
to be
“ROBBIE’S GIRL”
WHO IS ROBBIE?
· LAWYER
· WRITER
· TV PRODUCER
· AND WEALTHY!!
“ROBBIE” WANTS A NICE GIRL
35 OR UNDER
NO TALLER THAN 5’5”
SLIM
AVERAGE LOOKING OR BETTER
DON’T DELAY!!
Her reply letter was pathetic. Eleven small typewritten pages, and on the first page was a picture of a kitten which she had outlined in black.
“My goodness, there’s so much that I’d like to tell you. As I sit here I feel like telling you the story of my life—and I will if you give me the chance. When I was sixteen I lost my hearing but I can talk and read lips so I manage to get by. Still, I am deaf. Do you think this will make a difference?
“Right now my life is all jumbled up, to tell you the honest truth. When I finish my school this summer I will be moving back to Bethesda. Both of my parents were killed in a car accident when I was fourteen, so I don’t have any real family anymore.
“But the thing that’s all jumbled up is I’ve just learned that I have to pay $173 more on my tuition and this is making a mess of everything. If I can’t pay, I don’t get my diploma and if I don’t get that then I can’t my cosmetology license which means I can’t work.
“Isn’t this a mess? Do things like this ever happen to you, Robbie? Sometimes I think they only happen to me really.
“Now I’m going to do something which might displease you but please don’t feel that way, ok? I just want to know if you would like to help me out with $15 or so. Now you don’t have to, you know.
“And Robbie, I know this is not a very good way to start out a relationship (it’s a horrible way, isn’t it?) but it’s just that my life is like this now—flat broke but not down and out!!
“I’m not really too good at writing letters so I’m not quite sure what to say now. But if you could ask me questions (about anything really) then it would be fun getting to know each other that way.”
Robbie didn’t want this. Robbie wanted a girl he could tie up. He kept reading.
“I don’t know if I’m the woman you are looking for, but I would like to be considered. And if you should find me not suitable, I’ll understand. I feel if someone should truly try to touch my heart and my soul and my body, then I will be drawn to touch them in the same loving way.”
Robbie couldn’t stand it. He wanted to spit. He couldn’t stand the dream, either. The nuns were about to eat him alive. Her letter continued.
“Let me also tell you that I feel very bad about asking for a helping hand. I’m really not that kind of person. I would appreciate any thought you might have of me. Please understand.”
Robbie couldn’t deal with this. He just wanted his thirty dollar whores. He just wanted to be able to beat them and make them tell him they were vermin, and then put them in a cab. But he continued reading.
“Do you think it’s still possible for us to become friends? I would like that very much. I would really be grateful for a few kinds words from someone special who would want the same…so Robbie, I hope you will write to me. I will try very hard to overcome the differences we might have between us.”
The girl’s letter was in response to Robbie’s reply to her ad in the personals. She had liked it. This was unusual for him. Even his girlfriend of eight years use to find money in her underwear when she left his apartment on Sunday afternoons. Robbie was not in the business of pleasing anyone but Robbie. Robbie was strictly retail.
Handwritten in purple was “Love, Laura. P.S. I have black hair, green eyes, weigh 115 lbs and stand 5’3” in m stockings. Also, I’m staying at this place for the deaf (it’s kind of a dump, really) so please write to me Robbie. I’m waiting.”
She wrote her address at the bottom and added, “I also want to love.”
The next morning Robbie called his friend and gave the letter to him. After he got off from work, Robbie went to the bar, came home with a thirty dollar whore, tied her up, beat her, paid her, sent her home and went to sleep.
Laura cried herself to sleep at the home for the deaf.
Robbie’s friend stayed up all night reading and re-reading the letter. He couldn’t bear the weight on his heart. He couldn’t even show it to his wife, and as he listened to an elegy on the radio, he hoped that Robbie’s dream of being devoured by nuns would come true. He knew that Laura’s dreams of Robbie would not.
He called Robbie the next day and told him to send the girl the fifteen. Robbie said no. His friend said, “Then I’m going to steal it from you the next time you get dead drunk.” His friend went home and wrote Laura a letter.
Robbie would never get his hands on her.
Robbie didn’t want her anyway.
Robbie was having a dream about nuns with fangs again.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Splitting headache
I was talking with a reporter today, one who may be doing a piece on me/the book/maybe the doc/who knows(?). I was trying to explain to him how one side of my head had to always be in this serious, empathetic mode. That's the doc side. Then there's the other side, the one that manufactures gross-out tabloid stories. I actually had my hand on first the left side of my head and then my right. I have no idea why I assigned the left side to the doc and the right to the book.
I used to know what left-brain and right-brain functions were, but I forgot. Did the side I grabbed correspond to the real function of that side? It isn't a bad thing to be this stupid.
I know the time is coming soon when some interviewer is going to start asking me how I cope with being in both modes at the same time.
Luckily both projects are finished. I was never in both modes on any single day while I was making these things. How could I be? But now, as the pub date approaches and sale(s) of the doc are imminent, I am going to be put in the position of TALKING about each one.
If the interview is about both, am I going to have to be tabloid funny one minute and (literally) deadly serious the next?
I better practice.
The best thing that can happen is that the doc airs sometime in February or March, after the first rush of the book blows over, but hopefully before it's remaindered.
Tomorrow, the Random House publicist is going to send me some questions to answer for the press packet that's going out next week. Let's see what I do with them. I'm more curious than you, believe me. I'll put them on the site www.rabidnun.com when I'm done.
And, yes the actual book will be delivered to them and to me next week. I expect all hell to break loose the following week.
I can't wait.
I used to know what left-brain and right-brain functions were, but I forgot. Did the side I grabbed correspond to the real function of that side? It isn't a bad thing to be this stupid.
I know the time is coming soon when some interviewer is going to start asking me how I cope with being in both modes at the same time.
Luckily both projects are finished. I was never in both modes on any single day while I was making these things. How could I be? But now, as the pub date approaches and sale(s) of the doc are imminent, I am going to be put in the position of TALKING about each one.
If the interview is about both, am I going to have to be tabloid funny one minute and (literally) deadly serious the next?
I better practice.
The best thing that can happen is that the doc airs sometime in February or March, after the first rush of the book blows over, but hopefully before it's remaindered.
Tomorrow, the Random House publicist is going to send me some questions to answer for the press packet that's going out next week. Let's see what I do with them. I'm more curious than you, believe me. I'll put them on the site www.rabidnun.com when I'm done.
And, yes the actual book will be delivered to them and to me next week. I expect all hell to break loose the following week.
I can't wait.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
A Tosches day
Don't EVER spend the day reading Nick Tosches and then try to do business. Read him, sit and cry, wallow in despair, rip the flesh from your own bones, but NEVER, EVER send emails to your lawyer, editor, agent, PR rep or anybody who doesn't know you that well after reading him.
This morning I was sitting in a cafe eating breakfast and reading "Cut Numbers" again. I jumped when the waitress came up to my table, all blonde bouncy and cheerleader-like, calling me "sweetie." I jumped out of my skin because it was the part of the book where Louie is having a bad dream (like Louie could have a good dream, forgodssake). She interrupted me when the black bile of death was pouring out of the woman and beginning to seep out of Louie's wrists.
Things just got worse as the day wore on and I put "Cut Numbers" down and picked up "The Nick Tosches Reader."
I had to appologize to my editor at Random House for the hysterical email.
I still want to make a documentary on Tosches. I'm just not sure if I could stand it.
This morning I was sitting in a cafe eating breakfast and reading "Cut Numbers" again. I jumped when the waitress came up to my table, all blonde bouncy and cheerleader-like, calling me "sweetie." I jumped out of my skin because it was the part of the book where Louie is having a bad dream (like Louie could have a good dream, forgodssake). She interrupted me when the black bile of death was pouring out of the woman and beginning to seep out of Louie's wrists.
Things just got worse as the day wore on and I put "Cut Numbers" down and picked up "The Nick Tosches Reader."
I had to appologize to my editor at Random House for the hysterical email.
I still want to make a documentary on Tosches. I'm just not sure if I could stand it.
Monday, October 10, 2005
The unfunny part of being funny
Next week, Random House sends out the publicity on the book, and the books themselves. What I've found in the whole process is what every comedian finds, be he standup or writer or film maker. Getting the chance to be funny is deadly serious, and no fun.
Hopefully, I'll get a lot of calls from TV, radio and newspapers, wondering what kind of person could write these awful things. But the process of getting those calls is tedious at best.
Do I sound nervous? Why shouldn't I be? There's a lot riding on the success of this book. There's a very funny screenplay ready (which I now miss working on). There's a second book in my head.
And then there's the prospect of failure.
Shut up, will you? You're scaring off the customers. You're supposed to be funny, you dumb shit.
Ok ok.
Go read the stories on the book website. They're a hell of a lot funnier than me sitting here and grousing. There's also a funny part of the book on the Amazon site:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0812975189/qid=1128969842/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-2512942-7322302?v=glance&s=books
You'll like. Really.
Hopefully, I'll get a lot of calls from TV, radio and newspapers, wondering what kind of person could write these awful things. But the process of getting those calls is tedious at best.
Do I sound nervous? Why shouldn't I be? There's a lot riding on the success of this book. There's a very funny screenplay ready (which I now miss working on). There's a second book in my head.
And then there's the prospect of failure.
Shut up, will you? You're scaring off the customers. You're supposed to be funny, you dumb shit.
Ok ok.
Go read the stories on the book website. They're a hell of a lot funnier than me sitting here and grousing. There's also a funny part of the book on the Amazon site:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0812975189/qid=1128969842/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/104-2512942-7322302?v=glance&s=books
You'll like. Really.
Friday, October 07, 2005
The first interiview on the doc
It aired today. If you want to hear it go to www.opb.org/oregongterritory. I thought I sounded scattered. I thought Greg started slowly but warmed up and said some good things. I've always felt that getting interviewed is eaiser than interviewing...and I've interviewed thousands of people.
It was a good rehearsal for when the doc gets picked up. I need to listen to it a few more times and find out what the hell I said. Sometimes I'm my own worst critic. On the other hand, lots of other people have been critical of my work, usually my employers.
On or around October 17, a distributor is taking Robert to Europe. She thinks she can sell it there. It has been terribly frustrating this week, with the Supreme Court hearing oral arguments on the Bush challange to the Oregon Death With Dignity law. This documentary should be out there now. I am trying to be patient, but it isn't easy.
I believe in this doc.
I am hoping the folks who are looking at it in New York and Europe feel the same way.
It was a good rehearsal for when the doc gets picked up. I need to listen to it a few more times and find out what the hell I said. Sometimes I'm my own worst critic. On the other hand, lots of other people have been critical of my work, usually my employers.
On or around October 17, a distributor is taking Robert to Europe. She thinks she can sell it there. It has been terribly frustrating this week, with the Supreme Court hearing oral arguments on the Bush challange to the Oregon Death With Dignity law. This documentary should be out there now. I am trying to be patient, but it isn't easy.
I believe in this doc.
I am hoping the folks who are looking at it in New York and Europe feel the same way.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
They argued today
The U.S. Supreme Court heard oral arguments on the Bush challenge to the Oregon Death With Dignity Act today. From all reports, it was not a win for Oregonians. Some reports say rookie Chief Justice Roberts appeared to agreee with Bush.
Should that shock you? Should the next 25 years of his reign shock you? Roberts may well turn out to be the curse of the W that lasts for a century.
I wish I were still writing the screenplay from my book. It was nice to lose myself in. Much better writing funny, than having to think about the gasping for breath of democracy in the U.S.
What's odd is that it seems like the Republicans are trying to drown themselves as hard as they are trying to obliterate any opposition. I guess we'll see if they drag us all down with them, as it currently appears.
As the pub date for my book grows closer, I'll get funnier. Let's hope.
Should that shock you? Should the next 25 years of his reign shock you? Roberts may well turn out to be the curse of the W that lasts for a century.
I wish I were still writing the screenplay from my book. It was nice to lose myself in. Much better writing funny, than having to think about the gasping for breath of democracy in the U.S.
What's odd is that it seems like the Republicans are trying to drown themselves as hard as they are trying to obliterate any opposition. I guess we'll see if they drag us all down with them, as it currently appears.
As the pub date for my book grows closer, I'll get funnier. Let's hope.
Monday, October 03, 2005
The First Interview/Doc
Co-Director Greg Bond and I were interviewed this morning by Christy George for the "Oregon Territory" show at Oregon Public Broadcasting Radio. It was the first time we had really gotten to talk about the doc itself. We spent two years shooting it and two more making the rest happen and mostly talking about that process...not the finished product.
I'm not sure what we were asked, to tell you the truth. It was such a relief to finally talk about the piece. Christy's questions were excellent. She knows how to ask a question that gets an answer. I think Greg and I were both kind of shocked at the prospect, when the interview started.
This will be a learning experience, and will prepare us for interviews to come. Christy is an OPB collegue, not that she pulled any punches.
It airs on Friday, October 7 @ 4:30pm on the radio stations of Oregon Public Broadcasting.
www.opb.org/programs/oregonterritory
I'm not sure what we were asked, to tell you the truth. It was such a relief to finally talk about the piece. Christy's questions were excellent. She knows how to ask a question that gets an answer. I think Greg and I were both kind of shocked at the prospect, when the interview started.
This will be a learning experience, and will prepare us for interviews to come. Christy is an OPB collegue, not that she pulled any punches.
It airs on Friday, October 7 @ 4:30pm on the radio stations of Oregon Public Broadcasting.
www.opb.org/programs/oregonterritory
The Doc and the Book/The Book and the Doc
It might be fun for you to watch this trainwreck. I have a funny book and a serious documentary being born at the same time.
I suggest you go to this piece on my confusion http://www.rabidnun.com/confused.htm and see what I have done to myself.
In the coming weeks, this blog will appear on both websites:
The Book: www.rabidnun.com
The Doc: www.robertsstory.com
You got here through one of them, no doubt.
I have my first interview on the doc today. Oregon Public Broadcasting's "Oregon Territory" http://www.opb.org/programs/oregonterritory/ show is taping an interview with me and Greg Bond. I'll let you know how it goes. It's actually a relief to finally talk about the doc itself, and not the struggles to get it made.
I suggest you go to this piece on my confusion http://www.rabidnun.com/confused.htm and see what I have done to myself.
In the coming weeks, this blog will appear on both websites:
The Book: www.rabidnun.com
The Doc: www.robertsstory.com
You got here through one of them, no doubt.
I have my first interview on the doc today. Oregon Public Broadcasting's "Oregon Territory" http://www.opb.org/programs/oregonterritory/ show is taping an interview with me and Greg Bond. I'll let you know how it goes. It's actually a relief to finally talk about the doc itself, and not the struggles to get it made.
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