No, I'm not kidding. Be the first in your neighborhood. Be the only in your neighborhood, or in the universe.
Do what it says. Read the book. Buy some stuff. Act stupid.
http://www.cafepress.com/rabidnun
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Why Do We Fight? Whom Do We Fight Is a Better Question
If I were an American soldier in Iraq I don’t think I’d know exactly who to shoot. Which side am I on? I guess I would shoot at whoever is shooting at me, but who isn’t shooting?
Is everybody who isn’t a Kurd my enemy?
We’ve got the Shia armies (conveniently called “militias” in our media—making them sound somewhat less like a military force and more like a police department). We’ve got the Sunnis and the remains of Saddam’s army. We’ve got Al Qaeda. They’re all fighting and the American soldiers are somewhere in the middle of it.
Do we protect the Shias from the Sunnis? The Sunnis from the Shia? Everybody from Al Qaeda? The Kurds from everybody including the Turks? Or do we just guard the American bureaucrats and the cash they brought with them and try not to get blown up while driving around?
The Bush administration been unsuccessful at everything it has tried in Iraq with the exception putting their hands in our pockets, taking out our money and handing it over to their friends with a smile. Oh, and bankrupting America. Why is it a surprise that thousands of FEMA-bought house trailers sit empty in a field in Arkansas. I could go on and on.
The tide is rising against the Republicans. Even the weaknesses of the Democrats may not be able to stem it.
The problem is that when faced with defeat, despots often destroy everything they are able. What we can look for in the remaining years of this administration is too awful to imagine. And every time one tries to imagine, the next day’s headlines prove our nightmares to be real.
There’s no place for the American military in Iraq’s civil war. There’s no place for them in Iraq, period. They are there to protect what?
I wonder if Bush found out about the escalation in the Iraq civil war by seeing it on TV, like he found out about the UAE port deal?
These are the dark ages and there’s no escape. Fifty Daily Shows won’t make this funny.
This also appears on huffingonpost.com
Is everybody who isn’t a Kurd my enemy?
We’ve got the Shia armies (conveniently called “militias” in our media—making them sound somewhat less like a military force and more like a police department). We’ve got the Sunnis and the remains of Saddam’s army. We’ve got Al Qaeda. They’re all fighting and the American soldiers are somewhere in the middle of it.
Do we protect the Shias from the Sunnis? The Sunnis from the Shia? Everybody from Al Qaeda? The Kurds from everybody including the Turks? Or do we just guard the American bureaucrats and the cash they brought with them and try not to get blown up while driving around?
The Bush administration been unsuccessful at everything it has tried in Iraq with the exception putting their hands in our pockets, taking out our money and handing it over to their friends with a smile. Oh, and bankrupting America. Why is it a surprise that thousands of FEMA-bought house trailers sit empty in a field in Arkansas. I could go on and on.
The tide is rising against the Republicans. Even the weaknesses of the Democrats may not be able to stem it.
The problem is that when faced with defeat, despots often destroy everything they are able. What we can look for in the remaining years of this administration is too awful to imagine. And every time one tries to imagine, the next day’s headlines prove our nightmares to be real.
There’s no place for the American military in Iraq’s civil war. There’s no place for them in Iraq, period. They are there to protect what?
I wonder if Bush found out about the escalation in the Iraq civil war by seeing it on TV, like he found out about the UAE port deal?
These are the dark ages and there’s no escape. Fifty Daily Shows won’t make this funny.
This also appears on huffingonpost.com
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
White House Plans More Such Deals After the Port Protection Plan Contract is Signed
The White House announced today that several transactions are in the works that are similar to the signing of the deal to make the Emir of the United Arab Emirates protector of some important American ports.
In the first, a government-owned North Korean firm has been hired to supply guards for several American sites where nuclear weapons are both stored and manufactured. A White House spokesperson said he was happy to have them aboard because they have done such a good job protecting their own nuclear facilities.
In fact, he added, the United States is getting a bargain because the workers will receive minimum wages, tripling what they make in Korea. As an added payment the Atomic Energy Commission will be supplying an unlimited number of new movie releases to Kim Jong-il. This will replace his subscription to Netflix.
The White House also said it has hired security arm of The North American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) to patrol the nationwide centers run by the Child Protective Services Unit of the U.S. Department of Education. A spokesperson said that although the organization is not known for security, it does keep the kids in their sights at all times and would be more attentive than other such security groups.
In addition, a company owned by AUM Shinrikyō, last heard from when they used sarin gas during a terrorist act in a Tokyo subway has been hired to provide security for Metro, the Washington D.C. subway. White House sources say that they were assured by several Japanese businessmen that the group has reformed and is especially qualified for this job due to the fact that they know everything about the subject.
I can’t go on. I just can’t. I can’t make this up. My friend Art Levine sent me a piece he wrote which parodied the Texas sherrif’s report on the Cheney shooting. In his piece, Cheney is drunk and snarling. Art called me and asked what I thought. I told him that it didn’t go far enough. It was TOO BELIEVABLE!
I told him he would have to have Cheney having SEX with the quail.
How many times in the past 4 years have you heard the words, “you can’t make this stuff up,” when the Republicans do something outrageous.
I can’t either. And I just tried.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
In the first, a government-owned North Korean firm has been hired to supply guards for several American sites where nuclear weapons are both stored and manufactured. A White House spokesperson said he was happy to have them aboard because they have done such a good job protecting their own nuclear facilities.
In fact, he added, the United States is getting a bargain because the workers will receive minimum wages, tripling what they make in Korea. As an added payment the Atomic Energy Commission will be supplying an unlimited number of new movie releases to Kim Jong-il. This will replace his subscription to Netflix.
The White House also said it has hired security arm of The North American Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA) to patrol the nationwide centers run by the Child Protective Services Unit of the U.S. Department of Education. A spokesperson said that although the organization is not known for security, it does keep the kids in their sights at all times and would be more attentive than other such security groups.
In addition, a company owned by AUM Shinrikyō, last heard from when they used sarin gas during a terrorist act in a Tokyo subway has been hired to provide security for Metro, the Washington D.C. subway. White House sources say that they were assured by several Japanese businessmen that the group has reformed and is especially qualified for this job due to the fact that they know everything about the subject.
I can’t go on. I just can’t. I can’t make this up. My friend Art Levine sent me a piece he wrote which parodied the Texas sherrif’s report on the Cheney shooting. In his piece, Cheney is drunk and snarling. Art called me and asked what I thought. I told him that it didn’t go far enough. It was TOO BELIEVABLE!
I told him he would have to have Cheney having SEX with the quail.
How many times in the past 4 years have you heard the words, “you can’t make this stuff up,” when the Republicans do something outrageous.
I can’t either. And I just tried.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
Friday, February 17, 2006
Since It's a Day To Thank Those Who Hurt Us
After hearing Mr. Birdshot's statement, I think it's only fitting that I personally thank the man who beat me about the legs and arms with a golf club and sent me to the hospital a few years ago. I guess I deserved it, although I had never met the gentleman before.
I realize his family and friends were heartbroken for him.
That he didn't kill me, I mean, and that I didn't have more money on me.
I feel bad that he didn't accoplish his task, too. So I'd just like to tell him, if he wants to try again, I'm always at his disposal. Perhaps he should try a hammer next time. Or a shotgun.
I mean, I'm really very grateful to him. I had never ridden in an ambulance before.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
I realize his family and friends were heartbroken for him.
That he didn't kill me, I mean, and that I didn't have more money on me.
I feel bad that he didn't accoplish his task, too. So I'd just like to tell him, if he wants to try again, I'm always at his disposal. Perhaps he should try a hammer next time. Or a shotgun.
I mean, I'm really very grateful to him. I had never ridden in an ambulance before.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
A comment on my last post from huffingtonpost
Mr. D'Antoni:Having admired your writing for years in baltimore, I am glad to find you contributing to one of the best news/opinion sources on the Internet. I read your wife's letter in today's CityPaper. She is absolutely right, and you should not take offense at the opinions of a couple of ill-informed and d**k-headed morons. In addition, Gadi Dichter can't even wipe your a** when it comes to journalism. Best of luck in your future. Oh, and I would be surprised to find out that "Dick" Chaney actually has one...has you seen the size of his shotgun?
Posted by: fferret on February 15, 2006 at 03:43pm
Thanks for the support, ff.
Posted by: fferret on February 15, 2006 at 03:43pm
Thanks for the support, ff.
Sex Scandals Are Always There For the Taking
Republicans have had the majority of sex scandals (usually homosexual and usually involving public homophobes). It’s refreshing to discover there may be a new sex scandal involving a heterosexual. If our ever-Prilocetic Veep really had a goomah with him when he went hunting and drinking, why should we, why WOULD we be surprised?
Is he not a man? Is he not dishonest to begin with? Is he not the Godfather and entitled?
What amazes me is that journalists have been unable to uncover the rampant decadence that always follows men of power, especially conservative religious fanatics. Is it any surprise to anyone that the most virulent homophobes are nearly always the most enthusiastic and least discrete (read: found in public)?
How come nobody, not even those who do not have editors breathing down their necks and bothering them about sources and attribution…bloggers, I mean. How come even bloggers never found out who was schtupping Jeff Gannon at the White House? (Does it have two “p’s?”)
Is there any doubt that somebody was? Come out, come out wherever you are.
So it took a shotgun blast at close range for MSM to wake up to the fact that Cheney is a lying sack of buckshot? Those of us whose job it is to size you up in the first 20 seconds after meeting you had sized him up in the 1970s.
Perhaps we shouldn’t have another Presidential election Instead, let’s have an “American Presidential Idol” show for the month of October 2008. Paula Abdul couldn’t be a worse judge of character than the millions of fools who voted for a chimp.
Shaking my head here at the fact that the Veep’s companion will get more play than the real blood that’s on his hands from the decisions he made in his official capacity.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
Is he not a man? Is he not dishonest to begin with? Is he not the Godfather and entitled?
What amazes me is that journalists have been unable to uncover the rampant decadence that always follows men of power, especially conservative religious fanatics. Is it any surprise to anyone that the most virulent homophobes are nearly always the most enthusiastic and least discrete (read: found in public)?
How come nobody, not even those who do not have editors breathing down their necks and bothering them about sources and attribution…bloggers, I mean. How come even bloggers never found out who was schtupping Jeff Gannon at the White House? (Does it have two “p’s?”)
Is there any doubt that somebody was? Come out, come out wherever you are.
So it took a shotgun blast at close range for MSM to wake up to the fact that Cheney is a lying sack of buckshot? Those of us whose job it is to size you up in the first 20 seconds after meeting you had sized him up in the 1970s.
Perhaps we shouldn’t have another Presidential election Instead, let’s have an “American Presidential Idol” show for the month of October 2008. Paula Abdul couldn’t be a worse judge of character than the millions of fools who voted for a chimp.
Shaking my head here at the fact that the Veep’s companion will get more play than the real blood that’s on his hands from the decisions he made in his official capacity.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
I am defended
From The Baltimore City Paper 2/15/05
The Wife’s Tale
I am Tom D’Antoni’s wife. I just received copies of your paper (“Fuck Us,” Arts and Entertainment, Jan. 25). I worked as a political journalist, have read three papers a day for more than 30 years, and never, in that time, have I seen an article so vile as the one on my husband.
I sat there during the interview, so was surprised at the article that was written. It was nothing like the interview. Tom loves Baltimore. We have Baltimore stuff all over our apartment and a Baltimore Orioles bumper sticker on our car.
Tom hit bottom in Baltimore, and it almost killed him, but he is proud to be from Baltimore. When he runs into folks here from Baltimore, they sit around and joke about their hometown, just as he did with Gadi Dechter. When friends come over he loves to show stories he produced for Evening Magazine about ordinary people who define Baltimore. Those who most would make fun of, Tom found something heartwarming about.
Tom has always talked about moving back there, but obviously, that is no longer an option.
Mr. Dechter, instead of doing some work and talking about some significant accomplishments of a complex and talented man, chose to base a story on tongue-in-cheek comments he and Tom both were making about Baltimore.
Tom just finished a documentary on assisted suicide. He filmed a man who ended up taking his own life, with cameras rolling and wearing Tom’s mic. Tom has said this was the most important work he’s done. I heard him talk to Dechter about this and was sure it would be included in the article. Of course, Tom talked mostly about his book, because that was the pretense Dechter used to call Tom.
Have you seen this man destroy other people? Did the article seem familiar?
Tom’s mother lives in Baltimore, as does the rest of his family, and a lifetime of friends. They have been hurt by this article, as have I.
Many of the things in the article are infactual and libelous, but that is what attorneys are for.
This is what wives are for.
Tom has done thousands of stories in his career. They have been well investigated and reflect good journalism. I am sure I cannot say that about Mr. Dechter.
Karen FoxPortland, Ore.
The Wife’s Tale
I am Tom D’Antoni’s wife. I just received copies of your paper (“Fuck Us,” Arts and Entertainment, Jan. 25). I worked as a political journalist, have read three papers a day for more than 30 years, and never, in that time, have I seen an article so vile as the one on my husband.
I sat there during the interview, so was surprised at the article that was written. It was nothing like the interview. Tom loves Baltimore. We have Baltimore stuff all over our apartment and a Baltimore Orioles bumper sticker on our car.
Tom hit bottom in Baltimore, and it almost killed him, but he is proud to be from Baltimore. When he runs into folks here from Baltimore, they sit around and joke about their hometown, just as he did with Gadi Dechter. When friends come over he loves to show stories he produced for Evening Magazine about ordinary people who define Baltimore. Those who most would make fun of, Tom found something heartwarming about.
Tom has always talked about moving back there, but obviously, that is no longer an option.
Mr. Dechter, instead of doing some work and talking about some significant accomplishments of a complex and talented man, chose to base a story on tongue-in-cheek comments he and Tom both were making about Baltimore.
Tom just finished a documentary on assisted suicide. He filmed a man who ended up taking his own life, with cameras rolling and wearing Tom’s mic. Tom has said this was the most important work he’s done. I heard him talk to Dechter about this and was sure it would be included in the article. Of course, Tom talked mostly about his book, because that was the pretense Dechter used to call Tom.
Have you seen this man destroy other people? Did the article seem familiar?
Tom’s mother lives in Baltimore, as does the rest of his family, and a lifetime of friends. They have been hurt by this article, as have I.
Many of the things in the article are infactual and libelous, but that is what attorneys are for.
This is what wives are for.
Tom has done thousands of stories in his career. They have been well investigated and reflect good journalism. I am sure I cannot say that about Mr. Dechter.
Karen FoxPortland, Ore.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Other Appointments in the Wake of the Delay Committee Assignment
Headline: Rep. Tom DeLay has been given a House of Representatives seat on the committee overseeing the Justice Department which is investigating HIM.
In other news:
Michael Jackson has been appointed head of Bahrain’s Child Protective Services Bureau.
James Frey has been hired to run Fox News’ Standards and Practices Department.
Michael Brown has been named new chairman of The American Red Cross.
Jack Abramoff has been appointed chairman of the Bureau of Indian Affairs.
Scooter Libby has been appointed designated “Target” at Dick Cheney’s next hunting trip.
Harriet Miers has left the White House and will marry a Bigfoot impersonator.
Judith Miller has been given the Journalism Department head job at Bunny Ranch University.
OJ Simpson has been appointed lead investigator for CNN’s newly formed Missing Murdered Attractive White Girl Team.
Ken Lay has been given Max Bialistock Business Ethics Chair at Yale University.
Scott McClellan has quit to join The Daily Show as a replacement for Stephen Colbert.
You know, you CAN make this up, but look how far you have to go.
Any additions?
This is also up on huffingtonpost.com
In other news:
Michael Jackson has been appointed head of Bahrain’s Child Protective Services Bureau.
James Frey has been hired to run Fox News’ Standards and Practices Department.
Michael Brown has been named new chairman of The American Red Cross.
Jack Abramoff has been appointed chairman of the Bureau of Indian Affairs.
Scooter Libby has been appointed designated “Target” at Dick Cheney’s next hunting trip.
Harriet Miers has left the White House and will marry a Bigfoot impersonator.
Judith Miller has been given the Journalism Department head job at Bunny Ranch University.
OJ Simpson has been appointed lead investigator for CNN’s newly formed Missing Murdered Attractive White Girl Team.
Ken Lay has been given Max Bialistock Business Ethics Chair at Yale University.
Scott McClellan has quit to join The Daily Show as a replacement for Stephen Colbert.
You know, you CAN make this up, but look how far you have to go.
Any additions?
This is also up on huffingtonpost.com
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
For Baltimore City Paper Readers
It's too bad that those dishonest, slimy bastards at the Baltimore City Paper would let me have only 500 words to reply to their lying attack on me.
First and foremost, I NEVER said to anyone connected to the City Paper that I hated Baltimore. I never said "Fuck You" to anyone connected to the City Paper about Baltimore. These are lies. I will give a big "Fuck You," however, to everyone connected with the City Paper after their smear of me and their misrepresentations of what I said in a two-hour phone interview.
Here's the full letter I had written to them about that dishonest schmuck Dechter and his poorly-written hatchet job:
"I knew I was going to get nailed, but what Gadi Dechter doesn't tell you is that he seriously slanted and cherry-picked the things I told him. He left out the fact that I walk the streets of Portland wearing my Orioles sweatshirt, how I nearly cried when I heard a real Baltimore accent last summer....and there are a lot of other things.Dechter chooses to leave out a lot of positive things in order to set me up as a straw villain.
What else can we expect from an L.A. guy who's aim is to gather as many scalps as he can before he moves on to a larger market. Same as it ever was...Baltimoreans being exploited and victimized by journalists on the way up and who can't wait to get out of town.By the way, my impression, after talking to him for a couple of hours, is that he hates Baltimore much more than I. He agreed with me on many points.Here's an example of how he dishonestly skews things.
He writes, "He remembers one scene in particular. 'I pick up this black woman and her daughter,' he says. “And for some reason the little girl looks through the sliding glass shield and she says, ‘I love you.’ And I busted out crying right there in the cab. It was such a contrast to what I had to face every day.'His conclusion: 'People in Baltimore are angry and mean.'"That story did not make me conclude that people in Baltimore are angry and mean. I think many are, but that was one tender moment in a nightmare of a job.
I told him a lot of things. I told him about the documentary I've just completed on the Oregon Death With Dignity law. I followed a man for two years beginning the day he got the legal lethal dose, through all the twists and turns of the decision-making process as to when to end his life. He died wearing our mic.Dechter could have included that, but it wouldn't have fit his idea of caricaturing me and his scalp-gathering agenda.
Lucky for me, he can't hurt me, he can only piss me off...unlike poor Mike Olesker, who deserved better.
How does he know I am "hustling for even more publicity?" And is there something wrong with promoting your own book? If he writes a book and it's bought by Random House, is he planning to turn down the promotional opportunities his publicist gives him? I doubt it.
While I'm complaining, the photographer who took that picture was here for an hour on Saturday and most of the pictures he took were of me smiling. You chose to run one where I was frowning.
So when the headline says, "Fuck Us," Dechter isn't including himself in the "us." Believe me. I'm more "us" than he'll ever be.
Baltimore....Gadi Dechter is not on your side.
Before he hung up, he said that he'd like to hang out with me and see how I reacted the next time I came back to Baltimore. Uh, no thanks, dude. I'll stick to Jimmy's and people who know who Jerry Turner was.
By the way, I still yell "O" during the national anthem when I drive up to Seattle to see the Orioles.
Here are some of Dechter's blatant mistakes:
1. I was never a news producer at WJZ-TV. I was a news producer at WMAR-TV and a story producer at WJZ-TV's Evening Magazine. Also, I never told him that Evening was new and hiring producers. It had been on the air for a year and was already a hit when I came to work for them.
I also never told him that I regretted coming back to Baltimore to work for Evening, as he claims. I don't regret a moment of my work at Evening.
2. I said "Baltimore's greatest cultural contribution in the past 50 years is Divine eating dog shit off a sidewalk on Read St." Not “Baltimore’s greatest claim to fame is that Divine ate shit on Read Street,”
3. P.J. O'Rourke was editor of HARRY for a brief period of time (a matter of months). In reality, Michael Carliner, HARRY's original publisher was the editor, followed by O'Rourke for a few months when I was publisher, and then I was editor/publisher.
4. I did not tell him I was a "children's party DJ." I was a wedding reception/party DJ. If he had bothered to check the piece I wrote for the City Paper in 1996 on my brief DJ career, he would have discovered that. Notice how sloppy Dechter is? I sent him my resume with the jobs I've had and the dates I had them. Apparently he did not avail himself of that document.
5. He implies that I took "odd jobs to pay the rent on his Mount Vernon apartment. He penned tabloid articles, created screaming car dealership TV ads, produced features stories for a failed “Trucker TV” network, and worked as a children’s party DJ." Actually, other than the tabloid work, I did all those other things from 1986-1996."
That's what you didn't get to read.
When the City Paper's "fact checker" called me, I had to correct her many times. The "facts" that Dechter had in his original piece were obviously very wrong. I corrected at least 6 inaccuracies she presented.
It would have been nice if she had been more thorough. It would have been nice if Dechter had been an honest journalist, instead of a lying sack of shit, but that's his problem.
It also brings up a problem in basic credibility. The Baltimore City paper has none. Andy Markowitz, when he took over that paper, buried the hatchet with me and published three pieces of mine. He's gone and the people in charge now do him a great injustice.
Russ Smith started a bad paper, and his spirit lives on.
Is it any wonder I brought HARRY back to life to compete with this crummy paper? So now they've had their shot at me. If I were a young person in Baltimore right now, I would start up a new paper. Baltimore deserves better than this dishonest piece of shit.
p.s. During an email exchange with Dechter, he actually replied "Word" to an email from me. How quaintly 90s. You should see him dance like Hammer sometime.
Pretty good for a failed screenwriter from L.A. trying to rescue his career, pathetically atempting to rise in his profession by hurting others.
Dude, this isn't over by a long shot. We Baltimoreans have long memories. We're still pissed at the Mets and Jets in 68, and at Irsay when he stole the Colts.
We won't forget what you did to Olesker, and what you failed to do to me.
Addition since the issue with my letter came out:
That schmuck Dechter was also too chickenshit to reply to my letter. Know why? Because he was caught with is journalistic pants down.
I hope this controversy follows him. I hope I find out where his next job is, because his boss will be the first to know what a dishonest cheap-shot media whore he is.
Also, to the writers whose letters got in; you wrote those before you knew the real story. But to Matt Selander who accused me of racism, allow me to tell you Matt...I went to Morgan State College when it was a college. I was one of 3 or 4 whites who were enrolled. I had a column in the school newspaper. I worked in a poverty program. I sat on the front porch of the Black Panther Party one night during the time when Panthers were being killed all over America. I could go on. What have you ever done, Matt, my little white thuggie?
I have to tell you guys who wrote in that I loved the tone of your letters. Pure Baltimore. It didn't make me feel homesick, I only feel that way during the baseball season, but your letters had that kiss my ass Baltimore spirit. Thanks, even though you hate me.
A few words to Blaine Taylor, who wrote a strangely nasty letter about me in last week's edition. I say strange because he seemed ambivalent. I guess all I can say is that I had a lot to be negative about. Of course, he neglects all the happy hippie words and deeds during that period. He also ignores all of the celebratory stories I did about Baltimore for Evening Magazine, and all of the musicians I covered for all those years. He also didn't get a chance to see my reply to Dechter.
I must say, I've always thought Blaine's writing to be stodgy and boring and not in the least creative. But I agree with him on one point, and I thank him for making it, even though he is not a fan....Baltimore's loss truly is Portland's gain. I have been accepted here, both personally and professionally.
Even though the O's will always be in my heart, Baltimore is my past.
Baltimore, you're Fredo. You're dead to me now.
Portland is my home.
First and foremost, I NEVER said to anyone connected to the City Paper that I hated Baltimore. I never said "Fuck You" to anyone connected to the City Paper about Baltimore. These are lies. I will give a big "Fuck You," however, to everyone connected with the City Paper after their smear of me and their misrepresentations of what I said in a two-hour phone interview.
Here's the full letter I had written to them about that dishonest schmuck Dechter and his poorly-written hatchet job:
"I knew I was going to get nailed, but what Gadi Dechter doesn't tell you is that he seriously slanted and cherry-picked the things I told him. He left out the fact that I walk the streets of Portland wearing my Orioles sweatshirt, how I nearly cried when I heard a real Baltimore accent last summer....and there are a lot of other things.Dechter chooses to leave out a lot of positive things in order to set me up as a straw villain.
What else can we expect from an L.A. guy who's aim is to gather as many scalps as he can before he moves on to a larger market. Same as it ever was...Baltimoreans being exploited and victimized by journalists on the way up and who can't wait to get out of town.By the way, my impression, after talking to him for a couple of hours, is that he hates Baltimore much more than I. He agreed with me on many points.Here's an example of how he dishonestly skews things.
He writes, "He remembers one scene in particular. 'I pick up this black woman and her daughter,' he says. “And for some reason the little girl looks through the sliding glass shield and she says, ‘I love you.’ And I busted out crying right there in the cab. It was such a contrast to what I had to face every day.'His conclusion: 'People in Baltimore are angry and mean.'"That story did not make me conclude that people in Baltimore are angry and mean. I think many are, but that was one tender moment in a nightmare of a job.
I told him a lot of things. I told him about the documentary I've just completed on the Oregon Death With Dignity law. I followed a man for two years beginning the day he got the legal lethal dose, through all the twists and turns of the decision-making process as to when to end his life. He died wearing our mic.Dechter could have included that, but it wouldn't have fit his idea of caricaturing me and his scalp-gathering agenda.
Lucky for me, he can't hurt me, he can only piss me off...unlike poor Mike Olesker, who deserved better.
How does he know I am "hustling for even more publicity?" And is there something wrong with promoting your own book? If he writes a book and it's bought by Random House, is he planning to turn down the promotional opportunities his publicist gives him? I doubt it.
While I'm complaining, the photographer who took that picture was here for an hour on Saturday and most of the pictures he took were of me smiling. You chose to run one where I was frowning.
So when the headline says, "Fuck Us," Dechter isn't including himself in the "us." Believe me. I'm more "us" than he'll ever be.
Baltimore....Gadi Dechter is not on your side.
Before he hung up, he said that he'd like to hang out with me and see how I reacted the next time I came back to Baltimore. Uh, no thanks, dude. I'll stick to Jimmy's and people who know who Jerry Turner was.
By the way, I still yell "O" during the national anthem when I drive up to Seattle to see the Orioles.
Here are some of Dechter's blatant mistakes:
1. I was never a news producer at WJZ-TV. I was a news producer at WMAR-TV and a story producer at WJZ-TV's Evening Magazine. Also, I never told him that Evening was new and hiring producers. It had been on the air for a year and was already a hit when I came to work for them.
I also never told him that I regretted coming back to Baltimore to work for Evening, as he claims. I don't regret a moment of my work at Evening.
2. I said "Baltimore's greatest cultural contribution in the past 50 years is Divine eating dog shit off a sidewalk on Read St." Not “Baltimore’s greatest claim to fame is that Divine ate shit on Read Street,”
3. P.J. O'Rourke was editor of HARRY for a brief period of time (a matter of months). In reality, Michael Carliner, HARRY's original publisher was the editor, followed by O'Rourke for a few months when I was publisher, and then I was editor/publisher.
4. I did not tell him I was a "children's party DJ." I was a wedding reception/party DJ. If he had bothered to check the piece I wrote for the City Paper in 1996 on my brief DJ career, he would have discovered that. Notice how sloppy Dechter is? I sent him my resume with the jobs I've had and the dates I had them. Apparently he did not avail himself of that document.
5. He implies that I took "odd jobs to pay the rent on his Mount Vernon apartment. He penned tabloid articles, created screaming car dealership TV ads, produced features stories for a failed “Trucker TV” network, and worked as a children’s party DJ." Actually, other than the tabloid work, I did all those other things from 1986-1996."
That's what you didn't get to read.
When the City Paper's "fact checker" called me, I had to correct her many times. The "facts" that Dechter had in his original piece were obviously very wrong. I corrected at least 6 inaccuracies she presented.
It would have been nice if she had been more thorough. It would have been nice if Dechter had been an honest journalist, instead of a lying sack of shit, but that's his problem.
It also brings up a problem in basic credibility. The Baltimore City paper has none. Andy Markowitz, when he took over that paper, buried the hatchet with me and published three pieces of mine. He's gone and the people in charge now do him a great injustice.
Russ Smith started a bad paper, and his spirit lives on.
Is it any wonder I brought HARRY back to life to compete with this crummy paper? So now they've had their shot at me. If I were a young person in Baltimore right now, I would start up a new paper. Baltimore deserves better than this dishonest piece of shit.
p.s. During an email exchange with Dechter, he actually replied "Word" to an email from me. How quaintly 90s. You should see him dance like Hammer sometime.
Pretty good for a failed screenwriter from L.A. trying to rescue his career, pathetically atempting to rise in his profession by hurting others.
Dude, this isn't over by a long shot. We Baltimoreans have long memories. We're still pissed at the Mets and Jets in 68, and at Irsay when he stole the Colts.
We won't forget what you did to Olesker, and what you failed to do to me.
Addition since the issue with my letter came out:
That schmuck Dechter was also too chickenshit to reply to my letter. Know why? Because he was caught with is journalistic pants down.
I hope this controversy follows him. I hope I find out where his next job is, because his boss will be the first to know what a dishonest cheap-shot media whore he is.
Also, to the writers whose letters got in; you wrote those before you knew the real story. But to Matt Selander who accused me of racism, allow me to tell you Matt...I went to Morgan State College when it was a college. I was one of 3 or 4 whites who were enrolled. I had a column in the school newspaper. I worked in a poverty program. I sat on the front porch of the Black Panther Party one night during the time when Panthers were being killed all over America. I could go on. What have you ever done, Matt, my little white thuggie?
I have to tell you guys who wrote in that I loved the tone of your letters. Pure Baltimore. It didn't make me feel homesick, I only feel that way during the baseball season, but your letters had that kiss my ass Baltimore spirit. Thanks, even though you hate me.
A few words to Blaine Taylor, who wrote a strangely nasty letter about me in last week's edition. I say strange because he seemed ambivalent. I guess all I can say is that I had a lot to be negative about. Of course, he neglects all the happy hippie words and deeds during that period. He also ignores all of the celebratory stories I did about Baltimore for Evening Magazine, and all of the musicians I covered for all those years. He also didn't get a chance to see my reply to Dechter.
I must say, I've always thought Blaine's writing to be stodgy and boring and not in the least creative. But I agree with him on one point, and I thank him for making it, even though he is not a fan....Baltimore's loss truly is Portland's gain. I have been accepted here, both personally and professionally.
Even though the O's will always be in my heart, Baltimore is my past.
Baltimore, you're Fredo. You're dead to me now.
Portland is my home.
Monday, February 06, 2006
Angering Somebody Elses God
Newspapers across Europe have enraged those so very highly enrageable Muslims by cartooning Allah and causing those feeling blasphemed upon to think themselves sent by their lampooned Deity on a mission to take a variety of revenges including the always popular embassy burning.
Can the other Gods be far behind?
And there are so many to have to watch out for: Jesus and Moses along with Zoroaster, whoever Wiccans worship, Satan, Celtic Gods, Polynesian Gods, Aztec, Hindu Gods, Goddesses of the Near-East Realm, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Pilipino Deities, Lusitani Gods, Scandinavian, Tibetan, Norse Gods, Apotheothenai (humans made Gods by other Gods), African, Native American, Inca, Egyptian, Mayan, Phoenician, Persian, Slavic, Greek, Roman-Etruscan Gods and Demi-Gods are all standing by and waiting to be pissed at you for making fun of them.
They’re more than happy to send their followers around to kick your ass. Or perhaps those followers have made up their minds on their own. Or even worse, thought that their particular God was speaking to them, Mr. President.
Noted religious entrepreneur Jerry Falwell blamed Katrina’s destruction on HIS God’s anger over rampant fun and too much sex with too many people in New Orleans. He should have blamed Clermeil, the Voodoo God who, when angered makes rivers overflow. Everybody knows it was Clermeil who did it.
With so many thousands of Gods watching our every move, no wonder the world is in such a pickle. The Gods must work overtime at smiting. You may have been smitten yourself and not even have known it. Remember the last time you said, “Goddamnit!?” Ended up with a handful of worthless Powerball tickets, didn’t you?
The real problem arises when the people who worship whatever particular God you’ve offended get wind of it. You had better watch your ass then, buster. Ask Salmon Rushdie. Ask the poor schmuck who is out of a job because he ran Mohammed cartoons in the French paper he no longer edits.
Or ask Danish film maker Theo van Gogh. Oh wait, you can’t ask him. An Allah fan killed him for making a film about how Muslims treat their women like so many pieces of furniture.
Best to make fun of Agunua the Serpent God of the Solomon Islands (and all this time I thought Solomon BURKE was the God of the Solomon Islands). All the other Salomon Island Gods are just one aspect of Agunua, so if you make a cartoon about Agunua, you’re taking on all the other SIG’s.
Taking on a God like Australia’s Daramulun is another thing, entirely. That boy is not only heroic, but is usually pictured with his mouth full of quartz (for some reason) and brandishing both a stone axe and a massive phallus. There’s a God you shouldn’t want to mess with.
One thing is certain; believers do not have a sense of humor.
So Denmark, already on Allah’s “terrorist watch list,” Norway, France, Germany, Italy, Spain and since you can find them online, the whole damned (literally) world has seen caricatures of Allah. Religious fanatics are taking to the streets in violent protest over what again? Some cartoons?
Here is the face of your enemy, America. And they wonder why we laugh?
In 2002 there was another religious cartoon dust-up. An Austrian comic portrayed Jesus as a life-long doper who got hooked by the Wise Men’s frankincense. The Archbishop of Vienna, in a Mullah-like stroke of insight described it as an attack on democracy.
At times like this, I find comfort in the words of Christopher Hitchens. When asked what would be the one thing that could bring world peace, he allowed that outlawing all religion would be a good way to start.
I’m sure if the Archbishop of the Aboriginal Church of Daramulun read what I had to say, he would be at my front door with a mouth full of quartz and massive phallus in hand. I’m planning to prevent my wife from answering the door for the next few weeks, just in case.
What am I doing about all of this? I’m praying to the Great and Holy, Most High and Exalted God who sees all, hears all, and sits on the throne of heaven directing the quick and the dead…..Louis Armstrong.
C’mon Pops, you gotta know somebody who will cut him if he stands and shoot him if he runs.
Amen.
This is also on huffingtonpost.com
Can the other Gods be far behind?
And there are so many to have to watch out for: Jesus and Moses along with Zoroaster, whoever Wiccans worship, Satan, Celtic Gods, Polynesian Gods, Aztec, Hindu Gods, Goddesses of the Near-East Realm, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Pilipino Deities, Lusitani Gods, Scandinavian, Tibetan, Norse Gods, Apotheothenai (humans made Gods by other Gods), African, Native American, Inca, Egyptian, Mayan, Phoenician, Persian, Slavic, Greek, Roman-Etruscan Gods and Demi-Gods are all standing by and waiting to be pissed at you for making fun of them.
They’re more than happy to send their followers around to kick your ass. Or perhaps those followers have made up their minds on their own. Or even worse, thought that their particular God was speaking to them, Mr. President.
Noted religious entrepreneur Jerry Falwell blamed Katrina’s destruction on HIS God’s anger over rampant fun and too much sex with too many people in New Orleans. He should have blamed Clermeil, the Voodoo God who, when angered makes rivers overflow. Everybody knows it was Clermeil who did it.
With so many thousands of Gods watching our every move, no wonder the world is in such a pickle. The Gods must work overtime at smiting. You may have been smitten yourself and not even have known it. Remember the last time you said, “Goddamnit!?” Ended up with a handful of worthless Powerball tickets, didn’t you?
The real problem arises when the people who worship whatever particular God you’ve offended get wind of it. You had better watch your ass then, buster. Ask Salmon Rushdie. Ask the poor schmuck who is out of a job because he ran Mohammed cartoons in the French paper he no longer edits.
Or ask Danish film maker Theo van Gogh. Oh wait, you can’t ask him. An Allah fan killed him for making a film about how Muslims treat their women like so many pieces of furniture.
Best to make fun of Agunua the Serpent God of the Solomon Islands (and all this time I thought Solomon BURKE was the God of the Solomon Islands). All the other Salomon Island Gods are just one aspect of Agunua, so if you make a cartoon about Agunua, you’re taking on all the other SIG’s.
Taking on a God like Australia’s Daramulun is another thing, entirely. That boy is not only heroic, but is usually pictured with his mouth full of quartz (for some reason) and brandishing both a stone axe and a massive phallus. There’s a God you shouldn’t want to mess with.
One thing is certain; believers do not have a sense of humor.
So Denmark, already on Allah’s “terrorist watch list,” Norway, France, Germany, Italy, Spain and since you can find them online, the whole damned (literally) world has seen caricatures of Allah. Religious fanatics are taking to the streets in violent protest over what again? Some cartoons?
Here is the face of your enemy, America. And they wonder why we laugh?
In 2002 there was another religious cartoon dust-up. An Austrian comic portrayed Jesus as a life-long doper who got hooked by the Wise Men’s frankincense. The Archbishop of Vienna, in a Mullah-like stroke of insight described it as an attack on democracy.
At times like this, I find comfort in the words of Christopher Hitchens. When asked what would be the one thing that could bring world peace, he allowed that outlawing all religion would be a good way to start.
I’m sure if the Archbishop of the Aboriginal Church of Daramulun read what I had to say, he would be at my front door with a mouth full of quartz and massive phallus in hand. I’m planning to prevent my wife from answering the door for the next few weeks, just in case.
What am I doing about all of this? I’m praying to the Great and Holy, Most High and Exalted God who sees all, hears all, and sits on the throne of heaven directing the quick and the dead…..Louis Armstrong.
C’mon Pops, you gotta know somebody who will cut him if he stands and shoot him if he runs.
Amen.
This is also on huffingtonpost.com
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
What if he gave a State of the Union and nobody listened?
Not everybody watched the State of the Union address. Most people didn’t. Lots of people had dinner to make. I know it may come as a shock to you that most people don’t live in the Eastern Time zone, and an even greater shock to those in the political writing business.
I have around three hundred channels to choose from on my cable system, more or less. Nine of them carried the State of the Union. There were a lot of other places to go.
The numbers say viewership of the speech was overwhelmingly Republican.
We’ve seen the outpouring of opinion last night and this morning. What’s missing is the towering irrelevancy of it all. Bush spoke like he was on an Ambien hangover. He said nothing, badly. Period.
Most of the rest of us went about our lives. Feeding the family on the west coast (and probably in the Mountain Time zone), spending time with our spousal unit and/or family in the Central Time zone, or spending our evening hooking up on MySpace in the East.
Those whose lives are spent and whose money is made on politics have a vested interest in commenting on every wrinkle and pucker of news makers. I used to be like that.
I’m the guy who used to watch BOTH C-SPAN channels simultaneously, read all the pundits religiously and wouldn’t miss all the Sunday morning talk shows for anything.
What happened to the guy who voted for all those people who wanted the Feds to fix things?
I had spent most of my life in Baltimore, minutes away from the Capitol. Maybe the proximity to where the action is made me feel a part of it. Perhaps the heat radiating from the geopolitical center of the universe produced empathy in me, or at least fandom.
Then I moved to Portland, Oregon.
There was no buzz here.
People paid more attention to the salmon count in the STATE of Washington, than they did to Washington, D.C.
My first hint of this difference struck me shortly after I moved here in 1997. At the time, the cable provider carried only one C-SPAN channel, and The Oregonian wasn’t carrying thousands of words per day of Washington news. And you had to be a P.I. to find the Washington Post. (I found it.)
During an interview on a radio talk show I was doing, I asked Bill Thomas, at the time the editor of Capitol Style magazine in Washington, D.C., to rate the Oregon congressional delegation for style points. He couldn’t, really; there just wasn’t much to say about them since Bob Packwood. Oregon was one of those, you know, “good government states.”
Relatively few listeners called. Nobody was interested.
Then the Lewinsky scandal broke. Like all good political scandal junkies, I leapt upon it. To my surprise, I was berated by several friends, accusing me, as a member of the media, of spending too much time on it, TWO DAYS after the story broke. They didn’t blame Bill, Monica, Ken or Linda. They blamed me for dwelling on a story they just didn’t care about. Oh, I had lots of calls the first week, but by the third week of the scandal, I couldn’t buy a call.
Monica and Bill and Hillary and Ken just didn’t amount to much of a ripple in the Great Northwest. Why? These are things that happen there. To them. They don’t really have much to do with my life. And I began to think, well, no….they don’t, do they?
But get in our way, and look out.
Oregon voters twice passed death-with-dignity legislation. Most of the people here were satisfied with it. And then those…those FEDS in Washington were tried to negate the will of the people. Us. Me!
For the first time since they wanted to put me in uniform and send me to Vietnam, I felt the need for the federal government to keep out of my business. Odd too, it seemed, that it was the Republicans who were extending this particular arm of the governmental octopus and trying to squeeze the life out of the death-with-dignity law. But they don’t seem to mind using the power when it suits their purposes, while paying lip-service to the concept of a less intrusive central government.
But that’s all over now that the Supreme Court has bitch-slapped the Bush administration. Even the conservative frozen pea-packer, Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith has said it’s a done deal.
Who’d a thunk it? Here I am, a lifelong lefty, siding with my Oregon buds, and standing up against the power of the federal government. Did I pass through some kind of looking glass when I crossed the Continental Divide?
I wasn’t going to watch the speech last night, but I couldn’t find a good movie and it was raining. I had it on, but I didn’t really listen much. It was shrugworthy.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
I have around three hundred channels to choose from on my cable system, more or less. Nine of them carried the State of the Union. There were a lot of other places to go.
The numbers say viewership of the speech was overwhelmingly Republican.
We’ve seen the outpouring of opinion last night and this morning. What’s missing is the towering irrelevancy of it all. Bush spoke like he was on an Ambien hangover. He said nothing, badly. Period.
Most of the rest of us went about our lives. Feeding the family on the west coast (and probably in the Mountain Time zone), spending time with our spousal unit and/or family in the Central Time zone, or spending our evening hooking up on MySpace in the East.
Those whose lives are spent and whose money is made on politics have a vested interest in commenting on every wrinkle and pucker of news makers. I used to be like that.
I’m the guy who used to watch BOTH C-SPAN channels simultaneously, read all the pundits religiously and wouldn’t miss all the Sunday morning talk shows for anything.
What happened to the guy who voted for all those people who wanted the Feds to fix things?
I had spent most of my life in Baltimore, minutes away from the Capitol. Maybe the proximity to where the action is made me feel a part of it. Perhaps the heat radiating from the geopolitical center of the universe produced empathy in me, or at least fandom.
Then I moved to Portland, Oregon.
There was no buzz here.
People paid more attention to the salmon count in the STATE of Washington, than they did to Washington, D.C.
My first hint of this difference struck me shortly after I moved here in 1997. At the time, the cable provider carried only one C-SPAN channel, and The Oregonian wasn’t carrying thousands of words per day of Washington news. And you had to be a P.I. to find the Washington Post. (I found it.)
During an interview on a radio talk show I was doing, I asked Bill Thomas, at the time the editor of Capitol Style magazine in Washington, D.C., to rate the Oregon congressional delegation for style points. He couldn’t, really; there just wasn’t much to say about them since Bob Packwood. Oregon was one of those, you know, “good government states.”
Relatively few listeners called. Nobody was interested.
Then the Lewinsky scandal broke. Like all good political scandal junkies, I leapt upon it. To my surprise, I was berated by several friends, accusing me, as a member of the media, of spending too much time on it, TWO DAYS after the story broke. They didn’t blame Bill, Monica, Ken or Linda. They blamed me for dwelling on a story they just didn’t care about. Oh, I had lots of calls the first week, but by the third week of the scandal, I couldn’t buy a call.
Monica and Bill and Hillary and Ken just didn’t amount to much of a ripple in the Great Northwest. Why? These are things that happen there. To them. They don’t really have much to do with my life. And I began to think, well, no….they don’t, do they?
But get in our way, and look out.
Oregon voters twice passed death-with-dignity legislation. Most of the people here were satisfied with it. And then those…those FEDS in Washington were tried to negate the will of the people. Us. Me!
For the first time since they wanted to put me in uniform and send me to Vietnam, I felt the need for the federal government to keep out of my business. Odd too, it seemed, that it was the Republicans who were extending this particular arm of the governmental octopus and trying to squeeze the life out of the death-with-dignity law. But they don’t seem to mind using the power when it suits their purposes, while paying lip-service to the concept of a less intrusive central government.
But that’s all over now that the Supreme Court has bitch-slapped the Bush administration. Even the conservative frozen pea-packer, Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith has said it’s a done deal.
Who’d a thunk it? Here I am, a lifelong lefty, siding with my Oregon buds, and standing up against the power of the federal government. Did I pass through some kind of looking glass when I crossed the Continental Divide?
I wasn’t going to watch the speech last night, but I couldn’t find a good movie and it was raining. I had it on, but I didn’t really listen much. It was shrugworthy.
This also appears on huffingtonpost.com
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